R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize