You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me + whiskey = a bad person
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize