whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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