I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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