And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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