I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize