so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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