I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
