GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
