Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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