The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
pray to the hookup gods
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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