Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
