it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
