i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
