so explain again why im purple
no
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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