I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
