I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
