Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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