we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize