I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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