Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
