Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
