I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
