I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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