you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
