I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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