i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
