I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
In America we eat man semen.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
