Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
