Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
