Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i drank out of a bidet.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
