Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
