Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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