Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
