You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
