4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
