he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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