i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i will never coherently bang her
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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