Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
