Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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