Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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