A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
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