oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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