Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
The adults are the big ones right?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
