yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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