i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Randomize