Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
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I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I believe in your delicious
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
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Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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