found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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