She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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