Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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