It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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