Is it normal to miss your booty call?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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