Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize