Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize