I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
