i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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