Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
